In order to understand this, you have to understand some of our local culture. I teach in Cincinnati, OH, but I live in Kentucky. (You know... the home of the 2012 NCAA basketball champs. You may have heard about it.) Every season there is a Crosstown Shootout between University of Cincinnati and Xavier University. Since our area is quite devoid of any good professional sports, college sports reign supreme. This young lady summed up the rivalries quite well. Read and enjoy!
My comment to her: At least UK has a trophy to throw and didn't get knocked out by a nut.
The Three Little
Alligators
By Anna R.
Once upon a time, there were three little alligators trying
to decide where to go to college. Their choices were the University of
Kentucky, Xavier University, and the best of all, University of Cincinnati. The
first little alligator, Tuck, decided to go to the University of Kentucky. The
second alligator, Xavier, chose to go to Xavier University. The smartest
alligator, Baehr, went to the University of Cincinnati.
The little alligators did not know
that a giant mutant rabbit had just eaten his way through the Appalachian
Mountains and was heading northwest. The rabbit smelled the blue cabbage that
made up most of the buildings at the University of Kentucky. When the rabbit
got there, he said “I’ll gnaw and I’ll chew, and I'll eat all the way through” and
so he did. As the UK Athletic Director was throwing the NCAA 2012 Men's
Basketball National Championship trophy at the rabbit, Tuck escaped and went to
live with his friend Xavier at Xavier University.
The giant mutant rabbit was still
hungry and headed north. He smelled the blue carrots that made up most of the
building at Xavier University. When the rabbit got there, he said “I’ll gnaw
and I’ll chew, and I'll eat all the way through” and so he did. As the XU Men’s
Basketball coach, Crispy Mac, was running away, the rabbit grabbed him and ate
him. But that gave Tuck and Xavier the chance to run to their friend Baehr at
the University of Cincinnati, the greatest of all universities.
The rabbit was still hungry and he
headed cross town. The rabbit couldn't smell anything but he heard the sounds
of metal that made up most of the buildings at the University of Cincinnati.
When the rabbit got there he said “I’ll gnaw and I’ll chew, and I'll eat all
the way through” and so he tried.
Since the University of Cincinnati
has the smartest students, with the approval of the Head Football Coach, Butch,
they set up a trap at Nippert Stadium. Baehr and his friends along with the
smart cats trapped and killed the giant mutant rabbit. The whole campus celebrated
with rabbit stew. Forevermore, Baehr and the cats were joined together; the
University of Cincinnati now had their mascot, the Baehr-cat. Today, the
University of Cincinnati's mascot is the Bearcat.
THE END
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